Martha I. Finney helps companies improve their performance by attracting, keeping and inspiring high-passion, high-performing talent. Her new book , Rebound: A Proven Plan for Starting Over After Job Loss, will be available in bookstores everywhere in February.
I’m thinking that it’s time for all of us to be thinking for ourselves. When we look at all the gloomy headlines, it seems like every single one of our headline-making problems started when we put aside our own common sense. And then handed over essential decisions and judgment to others. And then it turns out that these others (people who told us they were “experts”) didn’t have our best interests at heart. They had their best interests up front and center. Go figure!
Two recent items in the New York Times Business Section hit me between the eyes. The first item is actually a series of articles about the alleged Madoff Ponzi scheme, where investors are losing up to $50 billion (maybe even more) because they trusted someone who may not have been so trustworthy. What really stood out for me was the handful of individuals who chose not to invest their money with Madoff simply because something didn’t pass the smell test with them. Despite what other people thought and did (hugely successful, vastly wealthy people who were making money hand over fist), they chose to listen to themselves and honor their own judgment.
The other item was in the same section, describing an elaborate University of Alberta research project involving bookstores, pens and coupons. The results of that research project? If you stand behind someone who uses a low-value coupon to buy a pen, other people will think you're cheap.
To which I have only one thing to say: Who the heck cares?
Could other people's opinion be so important that you're willing to change your behaviors to accommodate them. To this extent?
I'm reminded of the subscription renewal notices that I get from magazines, at least 6 months before my subscription is actually due to expire. Big type on the envelope screaming, FOURTH AND FINAL NOTICE! There's something inside my little reptilian brain that tells me "oh my gosh! People are thinking I'm a deadbeat!" The people inside the circulation department of the magazine? Maybe. The postal carrier? Maybe. But obviously SOMEONE must be thinking I'm a deadbeat...look at these envelopes! I can just smell the judgment! I just don't know where the stink is coming from.
Another article in the New York Times a few weeks ago also tried to impose other people's opinion on me regarding the so-called Interview Suit. The article was accompanied by a movie still from the 50s of Hope Lange enduring scathing judgment from prospective coworkers. Was her slip showing? No. She was wearing, gasp!, the DREADED WRONG OUTFIT!
The point of this article was that, according to the experts interviewed, if you're not wearing precisely the right outfit, in precisely this year's colors, accessorized with precisely the right shoes, with precisely the right heel, you might as well kiss that job opp goodbye. Several of my friends called my attention to the article, sharing the same opinion of "oh my gosh! it's really getting brutal out there!"
But looking closely at all the experts who were quoted, it was clear that every single "expert" had a stake in making you feel inadequately wardrobed. They were designers and image coaches who make money on the constant fashion churn.
Now I know there are tons of elegantly dressed recruiters out there, but I would venture a guess that no one stops to see if you're wearing a 2005 Jimmy Choo or a 2008 Jimmy Choo. Personally, my philosophy is that if there are no holes in the soles, and the heels aren't worn down so much that they resemble a door wedge, I'm good to go.
Life is complicated these days, no doubt. And sometimes we need experts to help us understand what the best ways are to use our resources. But I think that one of the reasons why we're in such a mess economically is because a lot of us turned our backs on simple math and common sense, because we figured the next guy was smarter and more knowledgeable than we. We've been caught up in a machine that runs on using OPM -- other people's (read: ours) money. And we've allowed ourselves to exchange our common sense for OPO -- other people's opinions.
I think it's time for us to remember what is truly ours, and hold on tight to it (money and opinions) regardless of which way the crowd is going. And to anyone who wants to estrange us from either, we should be asking them: Okay, what are you really selling?
But that's just my opinion.
Special note from Martha: If you’ve been following my blog, you may have been wondering why I’ve been silent for the last couple of months. Nope, not an extended vacay to Bali. I’ve been writing a new book! It’s called Rebound: A Proven Plan For Starting Over After Job Loss. Click on the link to learn more about it, and take advantage of the special pre-publication price! (You won’t have to wait long for it! It’ll be out in early February!)
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